1. I love music - classical music, jazz, blues, bossa nova, some pop, little rock, a little alternative... nothing metal nor trance. I'm not a big fan of rap/hip hop. It's imperative for me that someone likes the same music as I do. Things would not be pretty otherwise.

2. I'm an incredible home person. It's true. I absolutely love to spend time at home with my family.

3. I'm predictable and boring. But I love to travel. I love to try crazy things like sky diving (not base jumping!!), paragliding...

4. I can devote my life to playing the piano and learning languages. I'm currently spending my summer dabbling in music, learning French... ignoring German a little. ;)

5. I love cities, but would really like to go to some place less developed. On my list are some countries in Asia, and going to other exotic places like South America and Antarctica. I definitely HAVE to go to Antarctica. It's one of my must-dos before I die things.

Goodbye my dear country I will miss you so.

Unlike some other people I love you deeply.

MWAH to my airy home, MWAH to my friends and family and MWAH to my darling kiddies.

SEE YOU IN FOUR MONTHS, home sweet home!

Labels: special occasions

Tonight, at 12.32AM, there was clarity.

I think I need a few more moments of clarity before I can leave without turning back. But I'm almost there.

Obviously, with each sharp clarity comes pain.

But I'd like you, the you who has made me happy and sad for so long (and yet still happy), you to be there for each moment of clarity. :)

Labels: men

For the first time in many months - more than 24 months actually - I sit down here, thinking of you.

Ever since my HP laptop came into the family, the desktop has been avoided by my family. It:
a) has too much junk,
b) nobody bothers to reformat it,
c) so it works 10x slower than the laptop even though it's windows XP.

And even when I use my desktop (to print stuff), I log into my Mom's account. Her account has less junk than mine, hence, my account works much slower and hasn't been touched in many months.

Now, I go through all of the junk. Deleted some of them. A lot of memories with you in it. Did you know I loved you for the longest time? I thought I'd never stop loving you. I found something - a file - full of testament of my love for you. I purged so many items, but today, now, I can't bring myself to delete all these memories.

As I read some of these things, I can't imagine how happy I was. Nowadays, when I date someone I really like, it's not like that. My recent memories are filled with disappointment.

I don't even remember some - most - of these old memories. I don't remember the depth of this. This insane, consuming love. This unconditional, amazing love. I can't believe I loved you for so long, and even now I don't know why. You really don't know this, but you took away so much of me, so much of my capability to love.

I think, I'd like to have one last, crazy beautiful person to love before I start dating serious dull marriage types.

Labels: men, reminiscing

Haha recently I sent an email, named The Old Man, to all my good friends.

OK so I forgot to include people like Geoff but yeah I WILL I WILL I PROMISE.

And it has caused a bit of a stir in my inbox/MSN. It's so funny hahahahaha.

I love my friends. :)

First off, before I say anything, I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO BAKE. My best friend and his gf baked some meringues and they tasted pretty good! I want a boyfriend who can bake. I also want a boyfriend to own the Bermuda triangle. But that's another story.

I was in the subway station one morning with Mom, and we hopped onto the first subway that came. Bad move. The door went shut, but the train refused to move. Around us, a couple of trains came and went. Did I mention I felt shaky? No? OK. I FELT SHAKY. In our carriage, there were just the two of us and this other guy. He gave the "what-the-hell-is-going-on?" hand gesture, and I returned him with the "I-don't-know" shrug.

Both of us tried to get the door to open. I started to panic. Did I mention Mom was just sitting there enjoying her peace and quiet? No? Well, she was.

Obviously, after a while the door opened again, and I immediately ran across to take the other N train.

It was quite scary for me cos it was ____ Manhattan, and I didn't want to appear in the NY Times the next morning for some very sad reason. And I'm not paranoid! The other guy was worried, too, but maybe not as paranoid as I was.

Shit I miss New York.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm on a sugar overload from the meringues.

PS. This is my last post (I think) before I leave the country. I'll miss everything here - amazing bak kut teh chicken rice and hokkien mee at $3, our amazing summery weather (zomg I have to get out of the house in the morning in the FREAKING COLD) and all my family and friends. MISS YOU ALL. Goodbye.

Labels: living in new york

We're walking. After a long day at work where activity is abound, I'm with you enjoying this peace and quiet at night.

I don't know how, and I don't know why we come to talk about marriage.

You ask me, do I want to get married?

A small breeze races between us and finds its way through my hair. I shake it away, remove my cufflinks and dump it into my bag. Outside, the world is abuzz; cars on the expressway ignoring us.

No, I say. I don't. You tell me you want to, but I can see that it's for all the wrong reasons. And suddenly, now, there is clarity.

*

For the first time in weeks I'm breathing a new, fresh air. I don't want to live in this uncertainty, this unknowing, and this time wondering how everything is based on relativity; two months before I wouldn't be typing this, and maybe months later I'd see her walk right past my gate. But with silent calm he and I will be walking past your gate, too, and you'd finally realise that losing you means nothing to me.

I think there might be the slightest possibility that I'm finally done, through, and over you.

Labels: men, summer

Labels: memories of, summer

I'm still deluded that you'd do something for me.

We're all allowed to dream, and dreams are allowed to be atrociously ridiculous. Here are three things I've been dreaming about:
1. I'd be walking my way home and find something at my doorstep from you. I remember you did this seven years ago. It was sweet.
2. You'd call me, only this time you'd say that you're already in the country, and you want to see me for real. I'd love to spend a whole night with you talking and enjoying your company. We'd watch the sun rise and go for breakfast.
3. I'd get a FedEx or DHL or something - postcard, or a really long letter - from you. There are no excuses for not knowing my address.

No, I don't want to do anything for you. I want you to do something for me. Really. To show that you still have me in your thoughts.

Still, life is amazing without you. You have no idea how happy I am, but just a couple of days ago, when I wanted to share this happiness of have finally leaving my job, I wanted to call you, and I realised I have no number to dial.

Labels: memories of, men